Supporting a young person you know 

Being a trusted adult

As a trusted adult you want to be: 

• non-judgmental – not trying to ‘fix’ a young person. Instead, try to help young people to work through issues in their own way.  
• a good listener – using silence to give young people space to open up and guide conversations. 
• prioritising honesty – asking hard questions when necessary and being vulnerable with young people. 
• reliable – through making yourself available to young people and engaging with them in a consistent way.  
• confidential – not sharing what young people tell you unless it is necessary (e.g. when they disclose abuse*). It is important that you are transparent to the young person when you do plan to tell others. 
• genuine – young people can tell when you’re just acting. 
• empathetic and patient – making time and space for children and young people to be heard and showing genuine care. 
• having clear boundaries and understanding of when a situation extends beyond your skillset.  

* If a young person shares something that makes you concerned for their safety or wellbeing, you must tell someone. Learn more about behaviours of abuse and who can help via the Tell Someone website. 

Appropriate relationships and behaviour 

If you are not the young person’s parent, it is important to make sure your relationship with the young person is appropriate, and that both of you set and respect boundaries.  

Boundaries are the behaviours we consider acceptable, and how we ensure these expected behaviours are upheld. 

Clearly communicate and discuss expectations for appropriate behaviour and boundaries.  

Creating safe environments for children and young people begins with open, honest, and age-appropriate conversations. Open and honest conversations send the message that they can always talk to you and that you’ll listen no matter what.  

Before sharing personal information, consider the why. Oversharing can create an unsafe environment for the young person where they feel responsible for your wellbeing, or overburdened when they don’t have the capacity to support you. 

Discussing these boundaries might also help them identify inappropriate behaviour of other adults in their lives, such as being aware of grooming and other unsafe behaviours. 

You can find out more about this topic at:  

• Appropriate relationships between adults and children and young people – Department for Education, Children and Young People 
• What is child sexual abuse? – Tell Someone 
• Having Conversations – National Office of Child Safety. 

Supporting a young person with anger

Young people experience emotions, including anger, more intensely than at other stages of life. That might sometimes make that anger hard to control.  

Experts at headspace recommend responding to a young person expressing anger by: 

• staying calm
• listening without judging
• acknowledging their feelings
• being curious about the reason for the anger 
• giving them space if the conversation is not helping. 

You can find more information and tips to help a young person express their anger in healthy ways at How to support your young person with anger | headspace.  

Supporting a young person with mental health challenges

• If you are supporting a young person that is facing mental health challenges, you can find guidance on the Headspace website.  

An underlying cause for change in behaviour can also be experience of family violence. If you suspect or know that a child or young person might be experiencing family violence, have a look at Supporting children and young people | Safe and Equal.